Journal Entry 23: Village Quotes

Here's a collection of quotes SA15 education volunteers have heard in their villages and around South Africa during their first year of service. The lighter side of being a PCV. Enjoy!

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Johannesburg? I know the place. I was supposed to be circumcised there in 1963.

Sut up, big mous! - Little brother, who can’t pronounce "th".

I will beat you! I will eat you! I will do everysing to you! - Again, little brother.

Mpho, there are two different things you must understand about us. We want two things: we want food and money. We want money! And … we are lazy. Lazy!

Hunadi! You are … big hips!

Mpho, Africa loves you and you love Africa! You are so fat!

Our goat died last night. I think somebody raped it. -Host Mom

What animals did you see in Kruger National Park? I would love to see a rabbit.

Happy Birthday! Grow big. Big like a giraffe, not an elephant.

If you don’t have the utensil to make bogobe in the US, how do you make it?

How long of a meter stick do you need?

Host Mom: Oh Mpho (Ivy), you gotten so fat! All the neighbors say so! Your butt is getting big! Ha ha!
Seth: Well, Mma. I’ve lost weight. What do you think about me?
Host Mom: Thabang (Seth), when you came here, you were ugly. Ugly, ugly, ugly. You looked like… hm… Saddam Hussein!

Of course you have a pen; you are a man of God.

Makobo, stop running! You are going to get fat!

Are the people really poor in the village or are they just pretending to get money from the government? -Deputy Principal

Doomed! Doomed! -Teacher

You are American. Do you know about these things called genes? Isn’t it that there is this called a gene pool? I think that when you leave, you must leave some of your American genes behind to help our gene pool.

Your wife will beat you.

First … I will find out … the name of your … school. -Teacher in response to a question while being interviewed.

You are naturally slender - not from disease.

Do you have a black one yet?

Do you think you can come to my wedding in December? Also, if you have one or two white friends, please bring them, too.

Oh, there are black people in America?

You and I - how can I say - we should make baby.

No, really. What is your mother tongue?